Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever manufactured in India returning to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: that is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke our ‘shine just like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi had been designed to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down just like the online in Delhi NCR through the police-farmer clashes. Yet not before offering Rihanna a collision program on democracy by trivialising link individual rights issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by herself the honour of sitting on a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide India like pizza pieces.

She extends to determine how these are generally supposed to experience legislation that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are simply ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What You Ought To Be Tweeting About

But Rihanna must not for a moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman remains at nighttime about do’s and here do n'ts’s a listing she should stay away from:

Here’s exactly just exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. Exactly why are Indians rushing off to Maldives and never Barbados for Instagrammable holiday pictures? Why did Jahangir offer East Asia the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ made a decision to shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and looking forward to Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or even a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors produced in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we're able to cause you to sit for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to see silver into the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering sweet nothings in their ear.

It really is pretty obvious you will be woefully unaware which our federal government may be the thing that is best to own occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers 'Terrorists' & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Exactly Exactly Exactly What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you've got currently done us much harm and gotten the whole world to fairly share one thing aside from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting polar caps, shrinking woodlands and searching angrily at world leaders.

Now Kangana that is poor will compelled to provide a thumbs down seriously to Thunberg. Ask her to get results on her behalf anger administration issue. View good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a buddy and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and effort to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. Forget about dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big ones that are fat India. You have ‘hit your toe with your hammer’.

You, we humbly advise you to please take back your meddling foreign hand and let us criminalise protests, beat up university students, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright journalists, in peace while we continue our efforts to discredit.

You're getting in our method of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Take a seat, you trick. Kangana will be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing for a whim after making her work. She's an impression on almost every thing, fiction or fact, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or brief. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This really is a blog that is personal the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is in charge of them.)

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